practice

practicing
one two three
what comes after if not four
what is it all for?
god
do you think he would open up a door for me
open it up let me see
what lies in it what my heart needs
do you think he
would reveal it to me
what what what what what whaaaat
what do you think god does
if he doesnt listen to music
if he doesnt jerk off
if he doesnt eat supper
what did he do on the night of jesus’ last supper
did he know jesus was about to get murked
did he accept it with grace
is god able to show grace
does god have emotions
does god have strength
does god have weaknesses
does he have a death bed
does he sleep on it
or does he rest on it
or does he just no thing
in it every thing
is god a no thinger like i
is that why they crucify me
they do not crucify me but they used to
perhaps i changed and didnt need to
perhaps i changed and abandoned myself
this new me feels less like myself and more like a punishment
i lied it doesnt feel like a punishment
im 600 mg in i cant feel anythingment
pigment