what’s greater than love

in high school i’d sleep in classes a lot
and i’d love my deskmate —
who was also my closest friend
i’d move my foot to the right to see if he was still beside me
he’d know i’d do that, so he’d pull his feet away
nothing for me to feel — to feel him beside me
i would immediately get up and look for him
we would catch eyes and we would laugh
i could lie on someone else’s shoulders pretty comfortably back then
now i cannot
does growing up mean less love
i guess if it’s you that’s growing up, love can’t grow with you
i remain – and will remain – young, little, and peculiar
and i will love more
i may not be able to put my head on someone else’s shoulders as much as i did back
then
but i can touch someone’s shoulders now
and if you ask me — it’s more sensual
maybe because i’ve grown up